"For Mother"

Today (June 18th, 2000) is the 7th anniversary of the death of my mother Florence. I miss her as much today as (if not more than) the day she died. I have always loved her and I always will. ("For Mother" was the name of the very first Hummel figurine I gave her).

I have written many things
About so many things
But I never wrote to you
Or about you before
Perhaps it was greedy or selfish
Not to let everyone know
What you meant to me
I guess I didn't do it because it was too painful
Perhaps I have held my deep sorrow
And mourned the loss of you too long
And it is time to let go of the pain
It would let you rest in peace, Mother

I need to honor you more by being happy
For that is what you wanted for me
And I promise to do that
In your memory as well as for my own sake
I want to see the world
Through the eyes you gave me
I want to practice all you taught me
And whenever I do anything - important or trivial -
I will ask myself what you might do or think
And happily, not sadly, do it accordingly
And appropriately
You were my greatest friend and teacher
And a wonderful mother

I laugh and cry as much as I used to
But sometimes more of each, I think,
Since you have been gone -
Because I remember you
And I always think of you
When I look into the eyes of my children
And grandchildren I see you
Sometimes, when I speak,
I am mouthing your words
And I hear your voice
And these things should make me happy
I should not be sad at all
I have no regret but one:
That you are not here with us

You are the reason I am the man I am today
I think you would be very proud of me
And I thank you with all of my heart, Mother -
For giving me life - not just birth
So I will live my life being happy
In spite of any adversity
Just the way you would have wanted
My heart will know that I did it "For Mother"

2000 poetheart

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