"I Wonder..."

I just can't help but wonder to myself -
If you could read my mind...
Know my thoughts and how I feel...
Would you be scared and turn away from me?

If you could see me now -
Writing these words to you,
Like a letter inscribed on my heart,
Would it send you off running back home?

I wonder if your knowing
That I feel the very words
I am forbidden to verbalize
Would send you back into his arms...

I wonder if you would keep your vows to me
While you do not keep your vows to him...
But I am unwilling to go beyond wondering -
Unwilling to risk losing what is not even mine...

And I wonder how I could wonder
Such things to which I know the answers -
But keep secret more for myself than you...
This is not really love and I am pretending with you.

©2002 poetheart

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