Spent a good part of my life
Trying not to hold on -
To anyone or anything.
They called me Mr. Elusive.
Doors slamming in my face
Or closing shut behind me -
I never let on it bothered me,
Concealing my feelings.
I have always walked right on
Without pause or hesitation,
My charade uninterrupted,
And my deceit convincing.
Now, as you turn your back,
As you are walking away from me,
In the fashion of the ones before you,
I want to remove my mask with a smile
And tell you how deeply I care
And how I honestly love you.
I want to reach out to you, hold you,
And beg you to stay with me.
But as much as I want to
I realize that I just can't.
Feeling the familar grasp inside me,
Knowing my pain needs me more than you do.
©2001 poetheart