This was the very first poem I read by James Angus Mackay.  It was included along with "Little White Cell" when James first introduced himself to me in an e-mail dated 10/13/00.   - poetheart 10/20/00

I think myself a happy man
Thanks most to you
My dreams I see
I almost touch
I almost hold to me

You show me hopes
And once there’s none
You smile at me
To me
And make me feel a man

Not full of boyish fancies
Young dreams too far to see
Eyes open you guide me
Hold me, lift me
And give me what I can’t believe

My best friend
My truest friend
My only trust
My companion
My loyal crutch

And yet you say
I can’t I couldn’t
I never will

You laugh at me
Spit in my face
Tear down my words
Bare to me the real
The lonely soul

Why can’t you love
Without judgement
Or angers vent
You slap and hurt
You cast me down

And there I lie
Await your return
Without you I’m shit
A hollow place
A filthy wreck

When you stand by me
I feel I can fly
Touch heaven
Touch the sky
Nothing to deny

I want to be free
My dreams to see
If my hopes not fade
Then I must be you
And you accept me

You are mine
And I am always yours
To love forever
Together forever
Until the end, my lonely soul

Dedicated to you
by James Angus Mackay

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